Celebrating Love: Reclaiming Valentine’s Day for Every Relationship Status
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. You walk into a store, and it is an explosion of pink, red, and heart-shaped everything. For some people, this is exciting. For others, it can feel like a lot of pressure.
At Caretta Counseling, we know that love is not one-size-fits-all. The movies tell us this holiday is only for romantic couples. But psychology—and real life—tells us that love is much bigger than that. Love is about connection, safety, and joy.
Whether you are single, happily coupled, hanging out with friends, or navigating multiple partners, you deserve to feel celebrated. Let’s look at how we can expand the definition of love this February.
Key Takeaways
Love is diverse: It includes friendship, self-love, and community, not just romance.
Celebration is a choice: You can define what this day looks like for you based on your needs.
Connection matters: Research shows that strong relationships of all kinds support mental health.
If You Are Flying Solo
Being single on Valentine’s Day used to have a stigma, but that is changing fast. Being single is a valid and fulfilling relationship status. In therapy, we often talk about self-compassion. This means treating yourself with the same kindness you would show a good friend.
How to celebrate:
Date Yourself: Take yourself out to a nice dinner, a movie, or a long walk. Do exactly what you want to do without compromising.
Practice Self-Care: Evidence shows that intentional relaxation lowers stress. Buy yourself flowers, book a massage, or just spend the night in your most comfortable pajamas reading a book.
Reflect on Values: Use this time to think about what is important to you in life, independent of a partner. This strengthens your sense of self.
If You Are Celebrating Platonic Love
Who says Valentine’s Day has to be romantic? Platonic love (love between friends) is one of the most important protective factors for our mental health. Your "chosen family" creates a safety net of support.
Whether it is a "Valentine’s" brunch or a "Bromance" movie marathon, celebrating friendship is a powerful way to push back against the idea that only romance matters.
How to celebrate:
Host a Potluck: Gather your friends for a meal where everyone brings a dish. Focus on connection and laughter.
Send "Appreciation Notes": Write short cards to your friends telling them why you value them. Positive psychology research suggests that expressing gratitude increases happiness for both the giver and the receiver.
Do an Activity Together: Go bowling, take an art class, or go for a hike. Shared experiences bond people together.
If You Are in a Monogamous Relationship
If you are in a relationship with one person, it is easy to fall into a routine. Sometimes the pressure of Valentine’s Day makes us feel like we have to buy expensive gifts to prove our love. However, relationship experts (like the Gottman Institute) tell us that meaningful connection is worth more than diamonds.
How to celebrate:
Deepen Your "Love Map": Spend the evening asking open-ended questions. Ask about their dreams, their current stressors, or their favorite memories. Getting to know your partner deeper builds intimacy.
Try Something New: Novelty releases dopamine in the brain, which is the "feel-good" chemical. Cook a new recipe together or visit a part of town you have never been to.
Unplug: Put the phones away for the night. Giving your partner your full, undivided attention is a rare and special gift.
If You Are Polyamorous or Ethically Non-Monogamous
For folks in the polyamorous community, Valentine’s Day can be tricky. It is designed for pairs, not pods or polycules. You might feel stress about how to split your time or ensure no one feels left out.
This is a great time to lean into compersion. This is a concept often used in ethical non-monogamy. It means feeling joy because your partner is experiencing joy, even if that joy doesn't involve you.
How to celebrate:
The Group Hang: If everyone gets along, a kitchen table style dinner can be lovely. It celebrates the community you have built.
Scheduled Quality Time: If group hangouts aren't your vibe, schedule specific dates for different days. Maybe one partner gets the actual 14th, and another gets a special weekend date. Communication is key here to manage expectations.
Celebrate the "Metamour": A metamour is your partner’s partner. Acknowledging them with a simple "Happy Valentine's" text can build goodwill and strengthen the whole network.
Conclusion
No matter who you love or how you love, your feelings are valid.
At Caretta Counseling, we believe in celebrating you. We know that for LGBTQIA+ folks and many others, traditional holidays can sometimes feel exclusionary. We hope you take this day to honor the connections that make you feel safe, seen, and valued.
Whether you buy chocolate for a partner, a friend, or yourself, you are doing it right.
Start Your Journey With Us
Are you looking for a space where your relationships and identity are fully understood? We are here to help.
Visit our website at Caretta Counseling to learn more about our team.
Contact us today to schedule a free 15-minute consultation. Let’s see if we are the right fit for you.
This is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, contact your local crisis center or the National crisis hotline at 988.
Sources
Fredrickson, B. L. (2013). Love 2.0: Creating Happiness and Health in Moments of Connection.
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.
Holt-Lunstad, J., et al. (2010).Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review.
