Can EMDR Happen in Virtual Therapy?
Finding Relief at Home: How EMDR and Virtual Therapy Work Together
A few thoughts from James
Sometimes, trauma feels like a heavy weight that you just can't set down. You might feel "stuck" in a memory or find that your body reacts to things before your mind even realizes why.
I’ve been there. In fact, it was my own experience with EMDR that changed how I view healing. After a car accident, I spent years feeling a huge spike of anxiety every time a semi-truck was near me on the highway. It wasn't until I sat in the client chair and used EMDR that those trucks finally became just trucks again.
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It sounds like a mouthful, but it is really just a way to help your brain finish "digesting" difficult memories. Today, we can do this work through virtual therapy, allowing you to process deep hurts from the safety of your own couch. If you’ve felt hesitant about telehealth or worried that trauma work has to happen in a clinical office, I want to share how this process actually works and why it’s so effective.
Why Virtual EMDR Matters
Many people are skeptical about doing EMDR through a screen. I understand that. But what I’ve seen in my practice is that virtual therapy offers a unique advantage: the safety of home.
When we work on trauma, your nervous system needs to feel secure. Being in your own space, perhaps with your favorite blanket or your dog nearby, can actually make it easier to dive into the hard work. It turns out that EMDR is incredibly adaptive. We don’t need a physical light bar or a specialized office setup to make the "engine rev up."
Processing in a place that feels safe adds to your ability to heal. You don’t have to worry about driving home while feeling "raw" after a session; you’re already in your sanctuary.
Comfort: You control your environment (lighting, temperature, seating).
Consistency: No need to cancel sessions due to traffic or weather.
Privacy: You are in a space where you feel most like yourself.
How We Adapt for Your Screen
So, how do we actually do the "left-right" work over a video call? There are several creative ways to make virtual therapy feel just as interactive as an in-person session. Here are the most common strategies we use:
1. Following the Visual Cue
This is the most traditional method. I can share my screen and have you follow a moving ball or shape with your eyes. This mimics the natural eye movements we have during REM sleep, which is when our brains naturally process the day's events. Visual cues are a simple, effective way to keep your brain engaged during the work.
2. Tactile "Butterfly Taps"
If looking at a screen feels tiring, we use your own body. I might guide you to cross your arms and gently tap your shoulders in a rhythmic pattern. This is often called the "butterfly hug." It’s grounding and gives you total control over the pace. Using your own touch can provide a deep sense of safety and self-connection.
3. Auditory Tones and Creative Sounds
We can also use sound. There are apps that play a gentle tone that alternates between your left and right headphones. I’ve even had a client use the stereo sound of people playing badminton—the "thwack" of the birdie moving back and forth! Sound-based BLS is perfect for those who find visual movement distracting.
A Path Toward Resilience
If you’re feeling "stuck" and afraid to try something new, I want you to know that you are in a safe place. I often think of therapy like a toolbox. Some problems need a screwdriver, and some problems need a wrench. If one tool doesn't feel right, we can always try another.
The most beautiful thing I see in my clients is the resilience that emerges after EMDR. It is a powerful feeling to know you worked through something incredibly hard and came out the other side feeling healed. EMDR is a trusted tool used by the VA system for Veterans with treatment-resistant PTSD, and it is here for you, too. You don't have to carry the weight alone anymore.
Take the Next Step
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EMDR helps the brain process stuck memories so they lose their painful "sting."
Virtual therapy allows you to do this work in a place where you already feel safe.
Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) is highly adaptive and can be done easily through a computer screen.
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At its heart, EMDR is a different take on talk therapy. While talking is helpful, trauma often lives in a part of the brain that words can't quite reach.
Think of your brain like a computer that usually files memories away neatly. When something scary happens, the computer "freezes," and that memory gets stuck in an active, raw state.
EMDR uses something called Bilateral Stimulation (BLS). This is a fancy way of saying we activate both sides of your brain—left, right, left, right—while you focus on a specific memory. I like to tell my clients that BLS is like revving up your brain’s engine. By activating both sides, we give the brain the extra mental energy it needs to unfreeze that memory and finally file it away correctly.
The goal of EMDR isn't to make you forget what happened, but to take the emotional "charge" out of the memory so it no longer controls your present life.
If you're curious about how EMDR can help you move forward, I'd love to chat. You can explore more about my approach on my website or see how we can tailor these sessions to fit your life.
Disclaimer: This is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, contact your local crisis center or the National crisis hotline at 988.
References
Adler-Tapia, R., & Settle, C. (2016). EMDR Therapy and Adjunct Approaches with Children: Complex Trauma and Dissociation. Springer Publishing Company.
Farrell, D., & Keenan, P. (2022). The processing of memories in EMDR therapy: The standard 8-phase protocol. Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 16(4).
